you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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