Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize