sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
