areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I need a beard to bite.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
