...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
They are going to name an STD after you.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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