Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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