Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
