i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
