Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
It's Friday. Sex?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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