Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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