Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
