I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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