i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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