WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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