I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
