So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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