He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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