That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
