just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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