i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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