That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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