Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
