I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
