Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
