There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
