that's an acceptable place to lick
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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