...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Randomize
