I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
