I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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