I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
