dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
