I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
