i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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