I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
