This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
