I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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