it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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