so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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