i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize