dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
