She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Randomize
