dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
