Having a random hookup so left but love u
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
