Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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