i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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