After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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