the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
