Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize