But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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