We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
