hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
