Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
